Aliens Are Stealing Weed

in Science
Why Aliens Are Stealing Weed


Aliens, as in Extra-terrestrial beings, are stealing massive amounts of Marijuana from un-suspecting growers. Pot Farmers, too embarrassed to tell anyone, and scared of authorities who could arrest them- are caught between a rock and a hard spot. There are three reasons why Alien theft of Cannabis is occurring. First, only planet Earth has the vegetative growth necessary for ideal Herb in this Solar System. Next, the relaxation of Pot Laws and proliferation of Medical Marijuana dispensaries, have created a glut of Marijuana all over the U.S. Finally, Alien beings seem to really dig Weed. If we examine a rich, deep-dark, Nitrogen loaded soil like California or Volcanic-rich Hawaii, with natural Rain and Sun balance, nothing else in the Galaxy comes close! Look at Mercury for example, no water and really hot days with really cold nights- not conducive to Cannabis Cultivation. How about Venus? Its water isn't liquid, light rays are let in- but not out, and Dust storms sometimes cover the entire Planet.  All through-out the Inter-planetary System, deficiencies of some sort exist. Aliens may have some sort of honing system tuned in to T.H.C. levels. These Trichomosome levels are probably off the charts due to the massive amounts of Pot being produced in the U.S., mega-tons alone just in Cali. In early summer of 1947, Extra-terrestrial debris- including Alien corpses, were retrieved from a Roswell,N.M. crash. Military officials would say that, "a weather balloon"  had crashed. Cali's border, by UFO standards, is relatively close. An autopsy was performed on the deceased Alien body. Confidential records reveal something interesting. The tiny Alien had 200 times the normal THC content of a student from Northern California. In addition, the Aliens oral cavity was like a combustion chamber, Cannabis incinerator if you like- able to vaporize Marijuana at temperatures unknown to Humans. Until Pot Farmers and authorities come to some kind of Summit regarding these phenomena, all Pot sheds should be locked and guarded with canines- Aliens hate and fear Dogs.



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Aliens Are Stealing Weed

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This article was published on 2010/10/11